Always Love
by Misha
Summary: Brenda realizes that there was always love there, no matter what went wrong. SB


Always Love   
By Misha 

Disclaimer- I do not own any of the characters of General Hospital. They belong to the creators of General Hospital, Wendy Riche, Bob Guza, ABC Daytime, and probably a lot of other people with more money than me. I'm not making any money off this story so please don't sue me. 

Author's Notes- This is yet another installation in my series of Sonny and Brenda perspective stories. This one is told from Brenda's PoV and is her talking to Jason after she learns that Sonny's "dead". It was a powerful scene and just called me to add more to it. As always, the quote is in bold italics and everything else is thoughts. Well, that's all, enjoy! 

Rating- PG   


* * *

I look at Jason, just trying to piece all my thoughts together. 

It hasn't sunken in yet. 

Sonny's dead. He's gone. 

I still can't believe it. 

I speak, but I'm not really talking to Jason. I'm really just talking to myself, trying to get the words out. 

**_"I can't believe it rained at that church tonight._**

It seems so unreal. 

But so perfect. 

After all, it always rained for Sonny and I. The two of us always ended up back in the rain. 

It's funny, five years apart and we end up at the same place we left off. 

Literally. We were back at that church with the rain and my heart broke all over again. 

That has a habit of happening when Sonny and I stand in the rain together. I usually get hurt. 

But never like this. 

Even when he left me at the alter and shattered my dreams it didn't hurt like that, because this is so permanent. He's never coming back this time, we'll never have another moment in the rain. 

He's truly gne this time. 

_**And I was just waiting for him, again.**_

I just keep flashing back to what would have been our wedding day. 

I can't help it. 

It was just so similar. The church, the rain. 

Except Sonny and I are not the people we were five years ago. 

We have both changed. But not as much as I thought. 

I thought that there was no trace of who we were then, but I was wrong. Because as different as we are now, we're still the same. 

We'll always be the same. 

_**And he looked at me. He looked right at me and I finally knew everything. He loved me.**_

In the moment when our eyes met, before the shooting, it all became so clear. 

I saw him in a way I had never seen him before. And I saw things that I had doubted for five years. 

In that moment I knew without a doubt that Sonny Corinthos loved me. That whatever had happened between before or whatever happened next, that one thing wouldn't change. 

And you can't imagine what it felt to see that. To have all my doubts washed away by one look. 

It was as if nothing had changed between us. As if the last five years didn't exist and it was just yesterday that we made love for the last time. 

_**For a long time a part me thought that he didn't, but he did.**_

The day that he left me I began doubting the one thing I had known for certain for so long. 

Sonny's love. 

Even after he came back and explained why he left me, I guess I was never really convinced that he truly loved me. 

I guess a part me always believed that if he had really loved me, he would have stayed. 

But as I looked into his eyes in that moment, I finally understood. That was Sonny's way of showing me that he **did** love me. 

He let me go because he didn't want to destroy me. It took me a long time to realize that. 

Not until I looked into his eyes and saw the love that always burned there and the answers to every question I'd ever wanted to ask him. 

_**I've always loved him. And he's always loved me, hasn't he?**_

I was eighteen when I fell in love with Sonny and I never stopped. I don't know how to. 

I tried, believe me, I tried. 

But loving Sonny is just something I do. 

And now I know that it was the same for him. He always loved me, just like I always loved him. 

No matter how far apart we were, that never changed. 

And not even his death will change that. 

I'll keep on loving Sonny and now I'm secure in the knowledge that he loved me until the day he died. 

_**It's really okay that he never loved me as much as I loved him."**_

He never did love me the way I loved him. 

I loved Sonny with everything in me. I would have given up anything to be with him. 

And I know that he believed he was proving his love by giving me up to keep me safe, but... 

I still believe that if he had loved me as deeply as I loved him, he wouldn't of been able to do it. 

But that's okay. 

Sonny loved me the best he could. Sonny was not the kind of man who could give his entire heart, he always held a piece of himself back and I no longer mind. 

He loved me and that's all that matters now. 

Because, after all, that's all I have now. 

The End 


End file.
